Becoming

To take mossy, forgotten pathways

Some roads are lost to be found

To take detours, stop a while to stay

To find yourself, infinite and unbound

1:27 AM; Balcony

Aakash lit up a cigarette. He needed to clear off his mind before writing to Sreya. The rudeness in Sreya’s text did make him feel bad. And he was perplexed; “Why am I hurt?”

Any other day, any other girl, a response like that, and Aakash would have never turned back again. He tried the same with Sreya, but he couldn’t turn a blind eye to her, he couldn’t ignore her. His thoughts went back to her dreamy eyes, her addictive smile. Draped in saree, she was the most elegant beauty in the entire wedding. Aakash do not remember the bride, or the groom. But he does remember Sreya’s every bit today. This is not the usual Aakash. 

He has been thinking about her all throughout the evening; he is thinking about her now. After her response, he was hurt, but that did not prevent his thoughts, and the “feel good” feeling that her thoughts brought along. The more her words circled in his head, the more good feeling it gave him. More than the rudeness, he was happy that Sreya responded. This is a feeling Aakash never experienced, this is some uncharted territory that his emotions are flowing through.

1:30 AM; Balcony; Aakash is typing

“I am sorry, Sreya! I do feel bad behaving in such a way; and I do apologise for that. I do respect girls; today I had a strong temptation to talk to you, never ever I did such an act before. Sorry again :)”

Wow! Was it Aakash who wrote that message? Neither could Aakash believe what he wrote. He wanted to respond with a strong message, befitting response to her for judging him without knowing him. A punch on her face for concluding about his nature. The more he thought about her, his feelings gradually turned from rage, then feeling guilty and then to an unknown emotion. 

Aakash imagined her embarrassed expression when he approached her, it made him feel bad. He imagined her furious face, “She looked very cute being angry! Her expressive eyes were more sweet than the rosogolla!” He is feeling a void inside his chest, lost in his thoughts. He was unmindful of the moonlight casting a silvery spell on the dark road in front of his balcony. He was unmindful of the scent of the jasmines that adored the entire neighbourhood, or the white cotton like clouds that were floating in the sky. 

This is spring. Aakash is missing Sreya!