Being

To break out, like the waves at sea

To fly happily, like the yellow butterfly

12:55 AM; Sreya’s bed

“Its okay, did not expect that you will stalk me and then apologise for that! Be a little more respectful next time.”

“Shit! I did not mean to be rude.” After the 20th attempt, Sreya drafted the text. She was not able to understand how she should respond. She was feeling good inside that Aakash texted her, but was not able to comprehend why she felt that way. At the same time, she was a bit disappointed also for his behaviour, earlier in the evening. She was unable to get in terms with her feelings.

With mixed emotions, this was all that she could respond. It was rude. “I don't know if he will respond to me. He is already an arrogant boy. My text will definitely hurt his ego! Should I apologise with a second text?”

Sreya is a beautiful girl, by appearance as well as by her personality. But she never took advantage of that. A lot of boys had approached her since her school days. She never liked anyone and was strong to express herself so that those guys never bothered her again. She never ever thought about love or her feelings. But this time, it was different. She could not understand why she was feeling bad, being rude to Aakash. She could not understand why she was feeling good, thinking about Aakash.

Sreya tried to divert herself and started thinking about the anatomy class next day. “I like anatomy, the lectures, the professor, my batchmates. I liked this evening. I liked when Aakash messaged me. Wait what?” Her thoughts have again drifted towards Aakash. “What is happening to my senses?”

1:30 AM; Balcony

For the last 10 minutes, Sreya was fighting with herself. She was constantly thinking, if Aakash would respond or not. Next moment, she wanted to smash his face, for being a disrespectful and arrogant boy. Again the next moment - “It was so sweet of him to apologise. Oh, so is he stalking me?” Her thoughts constantly went back to his cherry red shirt. “He was looking smart, and sweet? I find a boy to be sweet!!” Her head was thumping now. “Why is he not responding? How long should I wait?”

The next moment, Sreya decided to text him, against her nature. She will apologise for being rude, and then would block him. She does not want her focus to be diverted. She reached out for her phone, opened the app and saw, Aakash typing….

Sreya waited for him to finish, with butterflies in her stomach.. the yellow ones, her favourite. 

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Hope

The moonbeam wounding the forest dark;
the night’s reticence ruffled by a skylark

11:30 PM; Desolated broadways

The car’s engine and the headlight were the only two animated objects breaking the silence along the never engine stretch of the highway. The silver moonlight through the roadside trees casted a hallucinating effect; the orangish red light of the car’s dashboard added to the illusive ambience; the speedometer clocked 115 kph. Perfect setup, but today Aakash was not mindful of this platonic atmosphere!

Some 100 KMs from his home, Aakash’s parents cajoled him to attend the wedding, with the promise of good food at the reception. Aakash loved weddings – for the food; and for the girls draped in sarees. He was checking out the girls, when he saw Sreya. The moment was ethereal. He immediately started crushing on her.

He followed her all throughout the evening, ordered the mint flavoured blues lagoon – he hated mint – with hope that she will notice him. When nothing worked, he approached her, and casually asked for a date. Aakash never dared to go to this extent with any of his crushes. He was content to check them out from a distant. But this time it was different.

Aakash was remorse. He was feeling guilty of committing such an act. He is very respectful of girls, but somehow, tonight, he could not control his emotions. With guilt prevailing, he drove on, not mindful of his surroundings. His home was not too far away now. He wanted to reach as soon as possible and be left alone.

12:20 AM; Balcony

After reaching home, the first thing he did was to search for Sreya in Facebook and drop her an apology. He could sense her anger and embarrassment, but this is the best thing he could do now. He was wondering why he was feeling so much remorse, why he was frequently checking his mobile and hoping for a response from Sreya. “Why do I want to talk to you so much? Why do I want another opportunity to see you and have a memorable conversation?”  

He checked his mobile again. Sreya has read the message, but he is not expecting her to respond. This is making Aakash all the more remorse. “What she might be thinking about me? Will she reply to my message? Will she burst out?” Aakash wanted her to burst out, he will feel better and will be his salvation his immature behaviour. The streetlights were not glowing, they have also desolated him. The tree looked darker and solitary against the feeble moonlight. Aakash was feeling lonely.

He checked his messenger again. His heart got filled with a mixed emotion of happiness, anxiety, fear when he saw – Sreya is typing. Hope is not lost.

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