Reminiscence
>> Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, 30th January, 2011 – Chennai
11:40PM: “Today, when I look from a distance, the things that I have left behind seems larger than life” – this has been Aakash’s best line for the last few months; and perhaps his worst time. Today he sits alone with his laptop, waiting for friends to ping him, or waiting for someone to reply to his ping. But his wait is never over. “Will it ever get over?”
Wednesday, 25th August, 2010 – Chennai
11:00PM: Another hard day at office. Tired and drenched, Aakash returned home about 5 minutes back. He eluded his mom’s evening call. He thought to call her back after he has completed his work. But he forgot. He always forgets!
“Oh shit, Sreya!! I have to call Sreya. There were 12 missed calls from her. She must be waiting.” This is their seventh patch up phase. Distance had separated them and ultimately they broke off. After a break of one and a half months, they decided to patch up again. And what the mess he has made today. “I will never learn to maintain relationships!!” he groaned. Without wasting any time he dials her number. One full ring, no answer. Immediately he redials. Sreya picks up this time and in a sleepy voice says “Aakash, you returned?”
Relaxed by her calm voice, he replied: “Yes. Sorry I couldn’t call you today. Was having very tough time at office. “
Sreya: “I know. At least you could have called aunty. She was much tensed.”
Aakash: “She called you?”
Sreya: “Yes, only to find out whether you had called or not. Okay Aakash, I am very sleepy. Will hang up now. Talk to you tomorrow. And call aunty NOW. She is waiting for your call.”
Aakash: “Okay I will. Bye. Goodnight.”
Sreya: “Bye.”
11:15 PM: “Hello Ma. Sorry I forgot to call you.”
Ma: “No problem son. But don’t forget these small things. It will affect your relationships.”
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Friday, 24rd September, 2010 – Still in Chennai
2:00AM:
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Sreya: (sobs) “…this is the third consecutive day that you didn’t call me.”
Aakash: “I really forgot. Work has become so hectic. I didn’t get any time at all. See I haven’t changed my clothes till now.”
Sreya: “Today also you would have forgotten to call me if I hadn’t.
Aakash: “No. I was about to call you.”
Sreya: “Aakash, don’t lie.”
Aakash: (silent)
Sreya: “See I can understand that you are having tough time at office. But please give at least 5 minutes for your family and friends. You even forget to call aunty!! When will you become responsible? When will you start caring for your loved ones?”
Aakash: (somewhat annoyed)” See Sreya who told you that I don’t love or care for my family and friends? Is it necessary to show?”
Sreya: “Yes it is. These small gestures build up relationships.”
Aakash: “I don’t understand you. Why do you always have to boss me in this matter?”
Sreya: “Because you are still immature.”
Aakash: “Maybe. And that is why it is getting difficult for me to maintain relationship with you. It is not possible for me to take extra burdens of routine calls. This distance is causing all the problems. See Sreya, I agree I forget to call you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or care for you. And also I can’t promise to call you every time. If you can stay with me like this, then okay. It is getting difficult for me to continue this long distance relationship. “
Sreya: “Are you breaking up with me again?”
Aakash: “Maybe, yes. At least as long as I don’t return to Kolkata.”
Sreya: “Aakash, you are pathetic. You are selfish and mean. I hate you.”
Sreya cuts the phone and immediately Aakash realizes that he has crossed all limits. He cannot undo what he has done and also Sreya won’t listen to him now. She has been terrific all these days after their patch up. She understood, never fought with him. It was Aakash only who used to fight with her. And now he has messed up everything. He lost her, again.
Monday, 27th December, 2010 – Kolkata (somewhere along the bank of Ganga)
Twilight: After a never ending wait of fifteen minutes, Sreya came and sat beside him. Aakash is on vacation leave and after some grueling efforts he has managed to convince Sreya to meet him for at least half an hour. After their final fight, they have spoken only thrice, the last one being Aakash’s effort to convince her to meet him.
Aakash: “I am sorry Sreya. I shouldn’t have told you all those rubbish things.”
Sreya: “Aakash, no use of your sorry now. I have decided. You will be better without me. At least ‘Sreya headache’ will go off your head. You won’t have the ‘extra burden” of that ’routine call’.”
Aakash: “Please Sreya don’t speak like that. I am here to mend everything for the final time.”
Sreya: “That’s what you told on our last patch up.”
Aakash: “umm… Sreya…”
Sreya: “Aakash let me get this clear. I am not ready to patch up with you now. I love you and I don’t want to disrespect it with words like ‘burden’ and ‘routine calls’. It is very tough for me to say this, but I mean it. You asked me to wait for you till you return. I will wait for you. You need not maintain long distance relationships anymore. Till then, goodbye.”
Aakash had nothing to say. He saw her royal blue dupatta disappear with the setting sun. The surrounding is becoming dark. Aakash sat there, alone. His folly has overcome his emotions.
Present day and time – Chennai
No reply from Sreya. Everyday Aakash pings her, eagerly expecting her something to say. But in vain. Today he is alone. The calls he thought to be “routines” were actually solace that he used to find after office. He has lost his solace, his love. Her sweet and charming voice at day’s end used to give him peace. All because of his incapability to maintain long distance relationships, he lost everything. Today he stares blankly at the white window of his chat box with a little picture of smiling Sreya at the left most corner of the window.
Hey, someone pinged… The tab read, “New Message from Sreya”
